i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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