spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
