I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
