I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
