One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is Oprah even human
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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