butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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