I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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