trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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