dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
