I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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