oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
