did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
