So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
