using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
