I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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