But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
