I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He better not be in your backpack
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize