Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
