that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
