i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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