i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
