she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
