i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
