The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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