Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My hand turned me down
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
