next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
