Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
