I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Don't make out with my wife yet
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
