in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
