Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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