you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
