So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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