i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
