It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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