It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
