Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
