And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
