She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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