I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
