My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
