No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
