I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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