I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
