you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
