My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
