My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
