i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
