:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
