i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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