It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
