im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The power of my boobs compel you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize