is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
