That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
