whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
