life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
