So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
