Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize