I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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