I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
