woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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