wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
