Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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