lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
