You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
