I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
