Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize