Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
