Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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