If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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