too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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