his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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