you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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