doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
