No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
