I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize
