life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
