Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
