she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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