I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
