Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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