He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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