you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
