I could have mohawked her pubes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
