My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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