I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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