Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
