thus making me awesome and them whores
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
