call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
