Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
