Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Even my vagina gasped.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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